I'm Gone When I'm With You (But I'm Better Than Ever)
by FangirlingCaptain
Summary: Killian and Emma who have been best friends for years, go through a hurdle in their relationship. Killian secretly thinks they have shredded their friendship but what does Emma think? Modern high school CS.


**_A/N: Hi! I'm back after a very long break. I have been very preoccupied with school (did not think it would be like this). I started this a while back and with Once Upon A Time Season 6 starting today, I thought I finish it and post it, incase we get a lot of angst in the premiere/season and need some fluff (I can almost 100% guarantee it)._**

 ** _This is basically just CS fluff that I randomly thought of one day. I know how much everyone loves highschool CS so I decided to write a little something._**

 ** _(Sorry about the cover by the way. I usually make it look better but I didn't have much time to make it this time)._**

 ** _Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favourited or followed my other fanfics. The response to all my fanfics has been incredible and I could not believe it. Hopefully you all enjoy this one._**

 ** _Review, fave, follow, check out my other fanfics, and enjoy some sweetness._**

 ** _Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of the characters, I only own the storyline._**

* * *

They had been best friends for years, having found a sense of security with each other since the moment they met at the age of eleven, a feat that was not spared for orphans like them. They helped each other through harsh group homes they found themselves in and found ways to ensure they were never far from each other.

Killian had only been five when he lost his mother to a brain tumour, causing his dad to soon find himself leaving, unable to stomach the sight of his two sons whom reminded him of his late wife. Liam and Killian were left to fend for themselves, and Liam, having barely reached the age of ten, not even a pre-teen yet, had been forced with the responsibility to take care of his little brother.

Emma on the other hand had not even had the chance to meet her parents as she was left on the side of a highway, only a couple hours old. She endured many harsh living arrangements with the various group homes and foster homes she found herself in, fighting through the anger and loneliness. When she met Killian at the new school she was starting, them being in the same year, she tried to keep to herself, but alas even eleven year old Killian could peel away at those layers she protected herself with, in his own way. For many months she attempted to cover her scars, both physically and emotionally, but that never phased Killian, now giving him the "superpower" to be able to read her all the time. It was both exhausting and beneficial, this power of his. She could never hide her distress, and he knew exactly what to do to calm her down.

Since their group homes were close by, they caught the bus together every day to and from school. Five years later, their routine had stuck, even as they entered high school. They were on their way home from school, bantering about the latest pointless topic. They found themselves talking nonsense to each other the majority of the time, just enjoying being in each other's presence. The pair were often compared to an old married couple by their peers, exciting both parties, secretly of course, as they discovered they had a crush on the other which may be a little more than that, but they were not very willing to admit it in fear of causing a riff between them, should it be unrequited.

Emma was discussing a question on their latest biology exam, Killian enamored by her and the passion she projected. He didn't realise what he was doing until he could feel her breath on his face. Killian stopped for a moment, looking into both her eyes, then leaned forward and kissed his best friend, his constant in an ever-changing world.

Realising what he had done, Killian pulled back, his heart quickening at the thought of having risked their friendship in just one quick moment. Emma stared at him, a stunned expression gracing her face, unable to process what had just happened. They both turned away from each and stared out the window as they tried to manage their thoughts about what they just shared. The bus couldn't have stopped at a better time as it reached their stop. Muttering a quick goodbye to each other, Emma ran out in front trying to escape Killian, both with their brains muddled with reflections.

Killian berated himself for his actions. He thought he'd hid his feelings for Emma well, but then he did something so incredibly stupid and kissed her. He couldn't help it; she looked so beautiful with the sun's rays causing her golden hair to glow and her hazel eyes to widen with enthusiasm as she spoke of her answers. What was he thinking? He had been hiding his feelings for years. You would think he would be better at concealing his love for her by now.

He ran in the opposite direction to his usual path home, anything to get away from Emma and the consequences of his actions. Racing thoughts sped through his mind, reminding him of his carelessness and stupidity. He had a plan. Prom was the marked date. He would ask her to accompany him with a simple, but romantic nonetheless, gesture. Instead he completely disregarded that plan months in advance.

He had to find someway to remedy what he did. He could not lose Emma. After everything they had been through, she became his lifeline. The only person he trusted and whose opinion held more value than hers, was Liam.

'Liam would know what to do,' he realised.

With a newfound plan, Killian sprinted past the waving trees and galloped his way over the fire hydrants. He felt satisfaction at finally being able to jump over them. If only Emma could see him now since she always teased him at his inability to climb over them.

'Emma, right,' he remembered, the afresh adrenaline coursing through his entire body, just as he reached the house Liam was finally able to afford for them, four years after he met Emma.

"Liam, Liam where are you? I desperately need your help," Killian bellowed, anxiety seeping through every syllable.

"Not now Killian. I'm busy," Liam shouted back.

Killian followed the noise, only to find Liam sitting across from a blonde girl.

"Hi I'm Killian, you must be Elsa," Killian introduced himself.

Elsa nodded, "Nice to meet you. I should probably go, I think some brother bonding time is needed."

"It's not necessary, I'm sure it won't take long," Liam reassured her.

"It's ok, I'll talk to you later Liam. I hope we meet again Killian," Elsa kissed Liam's cheek, waving to Killian.

The two brothers watched the blonde beauty walk out, Liam speculating what his brother was so apprehensive about, and Killian harnessing the courage to spill his guts out to his brother.

"What do you think of Elsa?" Liam wondered, to break the silence that befell the room.

"I think she is really nice," Killian remarked, his sincerity, although not evident from his tone, was present enough for Liam to realise Killian's acceptance of her.

"So what's up little brother?"

"This may come to you as a surprise, and its really hard for me to say so please before you say anything, let me get it all out. I've known Emma for five years, been in love with her for three. I've always found her enchanting and pretty much the loveliest person I have ever met. I had this plan to ask her to prom, cliché I know, but she has never had any momentous gestures made for her and it would mean a lot to her. I did a really foolish act today. I kissed her. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. Please Liam, anything would help at this point," Killian let out in a rushed tone, a big breath exhaled after his confession.

"Wow this must be really distressing you since you didn't correct me. I think the fact that you want to go through all this trouble for her when her life has been void of that so far, would make it pretty special for her. I would not be doing my brotherly duties if I did not tell you that you were never exactly subtle about your feelings towards Emma. I have just been waiting for the day you finally say it aloud.

You guys have always had a great relationship because you talk to each other. I'm sure if you explain what happened, and don't try to cover up, tell her exactly what you feel, she will understand. Maybe she likes you too, maybe she doesn't. It's a risk you have to take. If you don't, you will only beat yourself up about it," Liam advised.

"Maybe I will. I'll go and talk to her now. Just an observation, maybe you should do the same," Killian echoed.

"What are you talking about?"

"I can see you like Elsa, and since I haven't seen her around, I can assume someone hasn't done something about those feelings," Killian inferred.

"For your information, I have a plan and its going great," Liam informed him.

"Take it from someone who had a 'foolproof plan', it doesn't work out the way you want it to. Anyway while you think on that, I'm going to speak to Emma," Killian rushed towards the door.

"No you aren't. Dinner first, then you can go romance your lady."

Killian sighed trudging his feet towards his room to clean up. He was formulating a new plan in his mind that would have just as big an impact, although this time he would act now, not plot for months in advance. After scarfing down his dinner, Killian made his way to Emma's current group home, hopefully the last until she turned eighteen. Going around the back until he was under Emma's window, he saw her sitting on the edge of her bed reveling in her latest adventure novel, her reflection caught in the window by the faint, glowing light seeping through the antique curtains.

He picked up a rock and strategically hit the edge of the window, near the wooden frame, so that she would be aware of his presence, however he would not alarm anyone else in the house. It took a couple more rocks until Emma turned around and opened her window when she realised who was standing under her window. Killian flew in his paper aeroplane with a message printed on the inside, telling him of his whereabouts if she was to look for him.

Without pausing to see her reaction, Killian made his way towards their bench on the docks overlooking the calming water, faith in her showing up surprisingly high. It had always been a refuge for the both of them ever since he saw her crying as she hugged her knees tightly to her chest and was rocking back and forth as a method to comfort herself. Eleven-year-old Killian came along and helped her out, although she pushed him away many times, and after a lot of persistence on his side, Emma finally made a new friend at school. A new friendship blossoming along with the middlemist flowers he often presented her with, particularly on days with bad memories or even on a random Monday to help brighten up the start of her week.

"Killian, you wanted to meet," Emma cautiously walked towards him.

"I need to explain what happened today," Killian paused waiting for any indication to stop from Emma, before continuing. "I have been in love with you for the past three years. No matter what I see or imagine, you are always there. You have been with me through all my outbursts and helped me move into the new house with Liam. You support me in everything I do and always want what's best for me. Whenever something happens and I need reassurance, you pop into my mind and immediately calm me down. I had this well-thought out plan to ask you to prom, it would have been one for the books, but then today on the bus I just lost it. I needed to do something, so I kissed you. I never meant to hurt our friendship, it is of the utmost importance to me, but I couldn't hide my feelings anymore."

Instead of responding, Emma reached out for his hand and squeezed it tightly, her eyes glistening with tears as she takes in Killian's words.

"Oh no, I messed this up didn't I. I shouldn't have listened to Liam. I should have just pretended it never happened. I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to cause you pain," Killian frantically let out.

Emma pulled him towards her, hugging him tightly, hiding her face in his well-loved leather jacket. "You mean more to me than I could ever imagine. When I'm with you, I feel like I'm shielded from all the terrible occurrences my life is filled with. You make me want to do whatever I can to turn my life around and make something of myself. I can be myself with you. Every group home I face, you are there, standing next to me, helping me. No matter what I do, I can always count on you to be there for me. I'm really happy you kissed me, and I want to be with you more than anything but I don't know if I can risk our friendship."

"I know there are risks but I think what we have could be something worthwhile and no matter what, our friendship comes first. We have too strong a bond to break. Admit it though, we would be like a power couple. The two that people thought would never make it, conquered the world together. They could produce a book or a movie about us. What a hit that would be," Killian's attempts at soothing Emma worked, making her laugh.

"Are you asking me out on a date Jones?" Emma's eyes lit up.

"That depends on what your answer would be Swan," Killian played along.

"Well see I have this really protective, caring guy who I think may be in love with me. I may need to clear it up with him first," Emma teased.

"I don't think we need to worry about that guy. After all he just got the girl of his dreams. So what do you say Swan, would you accompany me on a date?" Killian was almost sure of her answer, although a little bit of him was still insecure and thought she might decline.

"You may need to ask me tomorrow, I think its time for me to sleep," she feigned yawning, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, adding to her spectacle.

"I think you enjoy tourturing me Swan. Maybe I should go find another best friend, and in five years declare my love for her and she will say yes," he commented.

"Are you sure about that? I think she may have some competition and I don't think your girlfriend would be too happy about that," Emma smirked.

"Well I guess you decide my fate, love. What will it be? You or mystery girl from the future?" he grinned.

"I may give you a try and then pass you along to her," Emma decided.

"Wow, I feel so special. Thank you Emma, truly, you are changing my life," Killian responded dryly.

"I know, I try. On a serious note though, I would love to go on a date with you Killian. Thank you for asking me. Although I really need to go now, I have to study for our maths test tomorrow."

"Oh I can't believe I completely forgot about that. I should probably do that as well. I'll be thinking of you the whole time" Killian winked.

"I feel honoured, but please don't write or draw weird things on your paper and I need you to pass this exam if you are going to get to that time in five years," Emma laughed.

"Going the long distance, I'm glad."

They walked together towards Emma's house, arm in arm. Killian hugged her and kissed her cheek, leaving their first proper kiss for that special moment to come, although it may just be another spur of the moment thing.


End file.
